Random Drabbles
by Welcome to Rapture
Summary: I was messing around with the Drabble Fic Generator, and I thought these were pretty funny. KlavierxApollo, rated M for a reason.


So I was just playing around with the Drabble Fic Generator, and I thought these were hilarious. Um... they aren't meant to be serious, or meant for children.

**Disclaimer: **I don't own anything.

**Warning: **NOT MEANT FOR CHILDREN. There are adult themes in here. The pairing is KlavierxApollo.

**

* * *

****The Battle For The Guitar**

On Uranus, Klavier raped his Guitar. He had been busy with the Guitar for hours and now wanted nothing more than a Bad cuddle or a Sweaty massage from his lover Apollo.

He said this last thought out loud, and all of a sudden his Icky Apollo appeared at the door, grinning Wrongly.

"Put down the Guitar," Apollo said Epicly. "Unless you want me to rape that Guitar on your Nose."

Klavier put down the Guitar. He was Mellow. He had never seen Apollo so Salty before and it made him Big.

Apollo picked up the Guitar, then withdrew a Wallet from his Anal region. "Don't be so Mellow," Apollo said with a Salty grimace. "A Walrus bit my Arm this morning, and everything became Freak. Now with this Guitar and this Wallet I can Epicly rule the world!"

Klavier clutched his Broken Arm Badly. This was his lover, his Icky Apollo, now staring at him with a Salty Anal region.

"Fight it!" Klavier shouted. "The Walrus just wants the Guitar for his own Icky devices! He doesn't love you, not the Bad way I do!"

Klavier could see Apollo trembling Badly. Klavier reached out his Nose and touched Apollo's Anal region Epicly. He was Icky, so Icky, but he knew only his Broken love for Apollo would break the Walrus's spell.

Sure enough, Apollo dropped the Guitar with a thunk. "Oh, Klavier," he squealed. "I'm so Bad, can you ever forgive me?"

But Klavier had already moved on Uranus. Like a fish that never knew how to swim, he pressed his Nose into Apollo's Anal region. And as they fell together in a Freak fit of love, the Guitar lay on the floor, Big and forgotten.

* * *

**1000 Wallet Walrus**

Klavier paced Wrongly back and forth. Icky dread filled his heart. Apollo should have been home at least an hour ago and it wasn't like him to be late. _Oh, my Bad love,_ Klavier thought. _Where could you be?_

Just then, the phone rang. It was the police. Apollo had been taken hostage by Salty Anal Region, a supervillain who had the city in a state of Mellow terror. Klavier fainted dead away, like a fish that never knew how to swim.

When he came to, there was a bump on his Arm and the Icky dread had returned. "Apollo, my Sweaty honey bunny," he cried out Badly. "What is Salty Anal Region doing to you?" Probably torturing him, laughing Educationally as he raped him in the Nose.

In the midst of all the terror and tears, Klavier remembered a story his grandmother had told him. If you fold 1000 Wallet Walrus, then whatever you wish for will come true.

Klavier ordered in a supply of Wallet and set to work, folding Walrus until his Arm was sore and he could hardly see. It took a week. He was just finishing up the very last Walrus when Apollo walked in the front door.

"Apollo!" Klavier screamed and threw himself into Apollo's arms. "It worked! I folded 1000 Wallet Walrus and it brought you back to me." He was so happy, he felt like he was dancing on Uranus. He kissed Apollo Epicly on the Nose.

"Actually," Apollo said, pulling away Snottily, "I was rescued by the Broken Guitar. He's a new superhero in town." Apollo sighed. "And he's really Big."

The Icky dread came back. "But you're Awesome to be back here with me, right?"

Apollo checked his watch. "Sure. But I've got to go meet the Broken Guitar for coffee now to, you know, say thanks for saving my life. Stay Freak, baby." He left and the door banged behind him.

Klavier choked back a sob and started folding another Walrus. Then he went out and got drunk instead.

* * *

**The Broken Stranger**

The sun was high and the trees stirred lightly in the breeze. Klavier strode along the path, making for Mellow Castle with all speed. Hidden from the eyes of man and beast, he carried the Bad Guitar, which no other must touch until it could be delivered into the safekeeping of the Wizard Arm.

A rustling of the dried leaves beside the path gave him warning and he drew his Sweaty Refridgerator just in time to face the Big man who flew at him with such grace that he was almost dazzled.

The man struck Badly, and Klavier barely raised his Refridgerator to meet the attack. They fought long and Epicly until all the air rang with the sound of their conflict.

At last, Klavier found himself forced to one knee, the man's Refridgerator pressed to his Freak Anal region. "I am Apollo of Mellow Castle," he said. "You are an unworthy guardian for the Bad Guitar. Prepare yourself, for I am about to send you on Uranus."

But Klavier had been waiting for such a chance and, bringing up his Refridgerator with a twist, overpowered Apollo and pinned him to the ground. "What say you now?" Klavier said, looking down upon him.

Apollo's Nose shimmered like a fish that never knew how to swim. "I have underestimated you, Klavier. I was sent to test your fitness for this task. To you I pledge my loyalty...and more."

Klavier's desire was enflamed. His Anal region throbbed and all his thoughts were to rape Apollo like a Walrus. Klavier caressed Apollo's Awesome Nose and he responded. They came together Educationally, and their joining was as Icky as their battle, and also much louder.

"Ah, my sweet Wallet!" Klavier groaned and raped Apollo as Wrongly as he could.

"Ouch!" he yelled. "What the hell is that?"

"Oh," Klavier said. "That's where I put the Bad Guitar for safekeeping. Sorry."

When they had finished their romp, they drowsed Snottily on the grass, forgetful of all but their Salty love. "We will stay together forever," Apollo said, and they began all over again.

And so it was that the Wizard Arm never got the Bad Guitar and the forces of evil overwhelmed the land and nobody was happy ever again, at least until the sequel came out.

* * *

**I'm Dreaming Of A Special Christmas**

It was Christmas Eve. Apollo sat epicly with a fetish, sipping epic eggnog.

He looked at the scary window hanging on the Christmas Tree and sighed. Last year, Klavier had hung it there, just before they looked at each other sinfully and then fell into each other's arms and loved each other's forehead.

If only I hadn't been so imaginary, Apollo thought, pouring a neatly amount of rum into his eggnog. Then Klavier might not have got so greatly and left me all alone at Christmas time. He wiped away a wrong tear and held his nose in his hand.

Suddenly, there was a knock at the door and then a happy voice lifted wrongfully up in song.

_I'm dreaming of a special Christmas_

_Just like a bear that could never read_

Apollo ran to the door. It was Klavier, looking big all over with snow.

"I missed you huskily," Klavier said. "And I wanted to love your forehead again."

Apollo hugged Klavier and started to sob.

"I think you're drunk," Klavier said.

"I think so too," Apollo said and they loved each other's forehead until they knocked the Christmas tree over.

On Christmas Day, they ate roasted platypus eye and lived rightfully until Apollo got drunk again

**_

* * *

_**

**A Wallet In Time**

On a Sweaty and Broken morning, Klavier sat on Uranus. It was Valentine's Day and he was all alone. His Nose ached in sorrow for the secret love that he could never share. How could he expect Apollo to love someone with a Bad Arm?

Educationally, he began to recite a poem he had composed. "Ah, my love is like a Mellow Salty Guitar, all on a summer's day. I wish my Apollo would rape me, in his own Awesome way..."

"Do you?" Apollo sat down beside Klavier and put his hand on Klavier's Anal region. "I think that could be arranged."

Klavier gasped Snottily. "But what about my Bad Arm?"

"I like it," Apollo said Wrongly. "I think it's Big."

They came together and their kiss was like a fish that never knew how to swim.

"I love you," Klavier said Badly.

"I love you too," Apollo replied and raped him.

They bought a Walrus, moved in together, and lived Epicly ever after.  
**_

* * *

_**

**Awesome Lang Syne**

Klavier sipped Snottily at his drink and stood Awesome behind a Refridgerator. He wasn't sure why he had come to this New Year's Eve party in the first place. He was no good at parties anyhow. They always made him feel Icky and he ended up like he was now, hiding and hoping nobody noticed how Freak his Arm got when he was nervous.

Well, truth be told, Klavier knew very well why he was at the party: to see Apollo.

Ah, Apollo. Just the thought of him, the chance of a glimpse of his Sweaty Nose made Klavier's heart beat like a fish that never knew how to swim.

But tonight everyone was masked. Klavier peered Epicly through the crowd, trying to guess which guest was Apollo. There, he thought, the man over by the Wallet, the Big one with the Walrus mask. It had to be Apollo. No one else could look so Mellow, even in a Walrus mask.

He began to walk Klavier's way and Klavier started to panic. What if he actually talked to Klavier?

Apollo came right up to Klavier and Klavier thought that he was going to faint.

"Hello," Apollo said Wrongly. "What are you doing over here all alone?"

"Oh, just looking at the Guitar," Klavier said and immediately wanted to die because that sounded so Broken.

Just then, a Salty voice began to count down. "Ten ... nine ... eight ... seven ..."

Klavier's heart leapt. If they were together at midnight, that meant that Apollo might ...

"Happy New Year!"

Apollo swept Klavier into his arms, bent him on Uranus, and kissed Klavier Badly, slipping him the tongue and groping his Anal region.

Klavier could hardly believe it. How wonderful! And now that it was after midnight, it was time to take their masks off. He reached out Educationally and pulled Apollo's mask off his face. It was Apollo! "I knew it was you," Klavier said and took his own mask off.

"And it's ... you," Apollo said. "You know, I'm just going to go get some punch."

Klavier watched him go. He would be right back, Klavier was sure. Just as soon as he had his punch.

And then they would fall in love.

* * *

**To Rightfully Love**

Apollo and Klavier were celebrating a big Valentine's Day together. Apollo had cooked a special dinner and they ate with a fetish by candlelight.

"My darling," Klavier said, stroking Apollo's forehead, "I have something for you." He gave a box to Apollo. "It is but an imaginary token of my happy love."

Apollo opened the box. Inside was an epic fan! He gazed at it huskily. Then he gazed at Klavier huskily. "It's neatly," Apollo said. "Come here and let me love you."

Just then, a scary crone sprang out of hiding and cackled like a bear that could never read. "Your happiness will not last!" she said in a wrong voice and dropped a piece of paper onto the dinner table.

Klavier read it. "It's a page from a diary. It says...it says that you're my brother."

They stared at each other epicly as the crone cackled some more. Apollo's eye began to tremble. Then Klavier shrugged, pulled out a window, and hit the crone on her nose. She fell over dead.

"Problem solved!" Apollo said and kissed Klavier wrongfully. "This is a greatly Valentine's Day!"

They sinfully burned the diary page in the candle and never told another soul.

And then they raped each other all night long.

* * *

Please don't kill me. I just put in random words, I swear!


End file.
